I bet that many of you are confused by the title of this article. We tend to see addiction as something that is bad, that represents the worst aspects of ourselves, and we often put so much pressure to ourselves to overcome before we are ready to do so, and because of this pressure we keep finding ourselves "failing" at it and therefore feeling so much shame.
We first have to acknowledge that we live in a world in which almost everyone is addicted to something.
The systems we live in make very accessible to us every form of addiction possible (food, porn, drugs, alcohol, social media, validation, etc.). It seems as though a healthy, present, grounded, life free of addiction is gigantic challenge, one too hard for many to even try. Living unattached to some form of instant gratification is the rebellion of our time. But because one of the laws of the universe (described in Newton's Third Law) is that every action has a equal and opposite reaction, there has also been a tremendous increase in the percentage of the population who are denouncing any substance use and getting sober, healing, re-connecting to self and a healthy way of life.
This article is not written for the people who have already overcome the grip of addiction and find themselves living full and intentional lives. THIS article is for those of us that are still battling our demons and have not yet won the war against themselves. I myself know that battle very well and I want to share with you using my addiction as my teacher freed me from the addiction itself.
How do we do that?
Before you engage in your addictive behaviour take a few moments to sit in stillness with yourself. Try and notice what is it you are feelings and thoughts are arising within you? Try to push yourself to sit in the discomfort for a few more seconds and see what you identify has triggered the need to disconnect from yourself. Try and sit for a few more seconds every time you practice this. It is important to be able to identify what is triggering the need to disconnect. Once you become conscious of your triggers you can work through them in therapy as well as finding new ways to navigate your triggers. Common triggers are: stress, worry, fear, anxiety, guilt, shame, sadness, grief, loneliness, unhealed emotional pain, avoidance of truth, etc.
Your addiction of choice also carries insight into what it is you are numbing, avoiding, or struggling with.
What does your addiction of choice say about you?
Here are some examples:
Smoking calms the nervous system as it forces you to take deep breathes. It temporarily calms anxiety and helps suppress emotions.
Drinking alcohol shuts the brain off and gives us a feeling of euphoria. Alcohol is often used to avoid ourselves and reality. It makes insecure people more confident in social settings and a way to feel like we fit in. It can also be used to find momentary relief from symptoms of depression.
Porn addiction is often used by people who struggle with intimacy and vulnerability as well as those highly insecure about their level of attractiveness. Porn addiction can also stem from childhood sexual abuse or shame around sexuality.
Food addiction is due to a need for comfort. Often found in people who were under nurtured as children, particularly by the mother figure. Food is often used as a replacement for the need of emotional nurturing. It is also a way to quite literally stuff down your feelings.
Weed makes reality a bit better, more enjoyable. Being dependant on is a sign that you are living an unsatisfactory life.
The use of hard drugs is an attempt to cope with trauma, deep emotional pain, and medicate mental illness.
You get the idea. If you can understand the reason behind your addiction you can better take the necessary steps to heal.
It is hard to face ourselves and our pain. We will do anything to avoid facing and feeling the very thing that will set us free. The insanity of addiction is that although it gives us temporary relief, it inevitably multiplies and magnifies our suffering. We end up not only still carrying our original pain but also create new suffering. Addiction can rob us of connection, motivation, inspiration, health, and living life. It can cause financial and relational problems. No matter how hard we try to avoid ourselves, there is always that voice inside of us that whispers to us "this isn't the way, you are worthy of more" and keeps the craving for a good, healthy, and fulfilling life alive.
Everything on earth moves from darkness towards the light. Seeds are buried in the soil and when they sprout they make their way out of the darkness and grow towards the sun. We are born from the darkness of the womb into the light and like plants, we are supposed to expand our consciousness throughout our life. We are born unconscious and every experience, good or bad, that life hands to us is given to us with the sole purpose of awakening us, if we choose to use it to learn and grow.The wisdom and self knowledge that is acquired through experiencing the full spectrum of the human experience is what the process of awaking and expanding our consciousness that is required to exist in the light.
That which you avoid will set you free. The only way out is through. Every aspect of life, every relationship (loving or painful), every behaviour, every choice we make, if listened to and understood will lead us to making our subconscious conscious and once that happens we have the power to overcome.
Commentaires